When you see or experience a child or teen acting out, what is often your first thought? For most, that first reactionary thought is not one of empathy nor is it thinking about the deeper meaning behind the behavior. If you take a step back and search to understand why a child may be having a certain “undesirable” attitude or outburst, it can solve the problem in a faster, friendlier, and less stressful way.
As a parent or caregiver, you anticipate and meet your child’s physical needs, such as hunger or tiredness, and are attuned to their mental and emotional needs. You can guess when your child feels sad, angry, anxious, or depressed. You can help identify why they are feeling this way. But how do you know when your child’s feelings won’t pass, and what meaningful actions can you take to help?
The struggle I see most in this caregiver/youth relationship is the desire to become the “Buddy.” The Nurturer helps with the behaviors that arise along the way so they can continue moving forward with the day or task at hand. However, the Nurturer can very easily slide into the Buddy role. When a youth enters any sort of residential facility or new foster care setting, they often don’t know how to create or maintain healthy attachments to the adults around them. It is our job as professionals and caregivers to model what a safe adult relationship looks like.
Encourage your family to take part in spring cleaning while teaching them life skills to create space, reduce stress and anxiety, and boost their overall mood with these five activities.
My daughter is a twenty-two-year-old bio engineering student. She is a hardworking girl, but she takes care of her hygiene poorly and her room is not walkable. Everything is on the floor. She gets mad when I talk to her about hygiene. A little background, my daughter has PCOS. I have spent a lot of money on laser hair removal, with not great results. When she was younger, she was bullied because of her condition and would come home crying. She does not want to go to a therapist. I’m not sure how to help her or what to do for her.
My niece’s 4-year-old toddler has become so aggressive that daycare has put him on probation. It breaks my heart when she calls me crying, thinking that she is not doing enough. He is the only child of two military parents, and they have tried to work with him. She has requested an appointment for behavioral health, but the wait is too long. What can she do in the meantime?
My 15-year-old son recently told me he wants to be referred to as they/them. He has started experimenting with makeup and is interested in women's clothing. I'm having a really hard time with this one. I am uncomfortable, I don't understand and don't know how to handle it. I want to support him, but I worry about him being bullied and what struggles he will face. Where do I even begin?
Our President and CEO Dr. Michelle K. Murray joined KSTP's Minnesota Live to talk about how families can keep it simple in the new year by setting small, specific, and intentional goals.