Every family has their own unique dynamic and structure, language, how they interact and communicate with each other. But despite being in a family unit, healthy behaviors, boundaries, and communication skills don’t always come naturally, even with individuals you may have known for your entire life. In fact, some behaviors may even be harmful for family members, even when intentions are good. That is where services like family therapy can be crucial for helping the healing process for everyone to unlearn unhealthy behaviors and communication styles may be engrained in a family unit.
At Nexus Family Healing, we serve youth and families, and understand that for a youth to heal, their family and caregivers must be an intricate part of the process, when safely possible.
Anna* had exhausted other residential treatment programs. When Anna struggled to make progress, her family made the decision to move her. Luckily, Nexus-East Bethel Family Healing opened in fall 2023 and had an open bed for Anna.
When Anna came to Nexus-East Bethel Family Healing, she was experiencing suicidal ideations, unstable moods, aggressive outbursts, and a difficulty with relationships. With the help of our care team, they started her in different therapy modalities to help with her social, coping, and independent living skills. These actions were tailored to fit her needs to help encourage more pro-social behavior and discourage unhelpful behaviors. When Anna arrived at Nexus-East Bethel she and her family started working with Mental Health Practitioner Melody Rossiter.
“Despite living 2.5 hours away, at least one parent comes at least once a week whether that's to family therapy or for a visit,” said Melody, “Their openness to feedback and willingness to make changes speaks volumes.”
It Takes a Village
In therapy, Anna and her family began working on skills to the best support the teen in her mental health, and her transition into adulthood. They do Dialectical Behavior Therapy, a type of talk therapy for clients who experience intense emotions, and everyone works on coping skills to better support Anna, as well as for their own mental health. Melody is an Art Therapist, so she also uses a lot of visual art and creativity methods to give clients something to bring out of sessions to hold as reminders of what they worked on.
“When parents can have that willingness and openness to admit that maybe something they were doing wasn’t one hundred percent correct, and I can make a change, it really helps so that everyone can be on the same page to make things different,” said Melody. “…nobody comes to Residential Treatment because what they are doing is working.”
Each therapy session looks different. Sometimes it is with Anna and her mom, or just her dad, or mom and dad together. Her siblings are sometimes also able to join sessions, as well as other extended family members.
“I really enjoy meeting Anna’s different family members,” said Melody, “I’ve gotten to meet different people who all really care for her and continue to show up for her in different ways…we can explore different options the family has with helping her.”
Learning Coping Skills
Melody reflects on a day where she could see all of Anna’s hard work and progress. Many days Anna is up and down with her focus and behavior, but one day, Melody witnessed something different: she was focused.
“She was able to recognize before she got dysregulated that she needed a break and was able to say they needed to take a break, instead of yelling,” said Melody, “It showed a lot of insight and awareness.”
Not every day is like that, but healing is not linear. Whenever there is a step forward in improved behavior, there is often a few steps back in it as well.
“It is what it is,” said Melody, “they have a hard time remembering to use their skills…the main thing is this has been a really difficult youth for our team to work with, but it’s these small moments make it worth it.”
Family Therapy and Individual Therapy Work Hand-in-Hand
While Anna and other youths at Nexus East-Bethel also participate in individual and group therapy (with other youths), family therapy is an essential component aiding in the end goal: Getting the youths back home.
“The goal is to get Anna, as well as the other youths we serve, back to their families,” said Melody. “One of the classic differences between family and individual therapy is that family therapy views the family as the whole client…because everyone who lives in the home impacts each other.”
Working with an individual youth or family member in therapy is important, but if you then put them back into their families and homes without the family changing as well, it could harm or undo the progress made in individual therapy.
“It’s essentially how can we shift the family systems so that the need to be out of home isn’t there anymore,” said Melody, “The ultimate goal is to get kids back home.”
*Names and details changed to protect privacy.