My friend committed suicide a week ago and I can’t stop blaming myself. Three weeks ago, he told me he wanted to commit suicide, but he was too scared. I did not think he would do it. He also wrote to me saying if we would meet, he might not want to kill himself. I keep reading those messages. I can’t get it out of my head. I am someone who suffers from depression and have been suicidal as well. I can’t do this anymore. Is there any way I could get through this pain? Are there any other realities other than depression? I’ve lost all hope.