Foster Care & Adoption

Our youngest daughter was acting out at school, and she is usually our most angelic child, the one we rarely worry would misbehaving. Naturally, we were concerned for her and a bunch of questions and scenarios jumped to mind. And then it hit me… How would I know the answer to any of these questions if I can’t even remember the last time I had concentrated one-on-one time with her?

A foster parent shares her family's journey with reactive attachment disorder. Reactive attachment disorder is a rare but serious condition in which an infant or young child doesn't establish healthy attachments with parents or caregivers, often developed from early trauma.

Am I doing anything right? This question could easily be muttered by my teenagers or by me. Daily. Hourly. Parenting teenagers is no easy feat, especially parenting teens with traumatic backgrounds. Learning to parent your teenager's inner child while they emerge as a young adult can help you navigate this difficult stage.

Let’s talk about self-care for foster parents, shall we? It’s a hot topic that is beautiful and necessary in theory and often feels impossible in practice. When each day is unpredictable, especially as many of our children deal with night terrors and other nighttime disturbances, how do we find the time and mental, physical, and emotional space to take care of ourselves?

When I became a foster parent, I had some grandiose mission statements about what I would do, how I would help, and the way in which I would serve vulnerable youth… but I look back now, seven years later, and see I had it all wrong. Well-intentioned, but wrong.

Families do not set out to put their child in foster care but simply are in a situation that makes it untenable to maintain parenting safely and confidently. People often look at a foster youth and think “those poor kids.” That thought, although maybe well-intentioned, breeds contempt for loved ones. When we reframe the way we look at why a child has entered care, we can be better equipped to care for the youth, and in turn, learn to walk alongside birth families.

It was Christmas Eve, 2016. The snow was coming down outside the Social Services office where my foster kiddo and I sat. A big storm was on its way, and I was nervously sitting in a dim meeting room, waiting for this sweet angel’s birth mother to join us for the first time. My foster youth was snuggled in a warm blanket with me, snoozing away. Mom was already 25 minutes late. The air hung nervously as my mind raced with negative thoughts and emotions, asking myself how was I going to get home in this snow?

Giving back to her community has always been a major factor in Gale’s life, but the question was how could she make the most meaningful impact? After experiencing a personal loss, her question was answered as she felt called to open her heart and home to foster care.

Some days feel full of doom and gloom, others are full of light and humor. As soon as we get used to what we think will become the “norm,” he reminds us that there is still a lot that he is silently dealing with. I have yet to find “normal” as a foster parent.  

My 3-year-old granddaughter lives with her mom across state lines. She has been taken away from her for a 2nd time and now my granddaughter lives with a foster family. We were her foster family the first time. We are trying to get her back with us because there is no reason for her to be with a strange family. What can we do to help get her back with our family?