fbpx I'm Always Upset and Not Sure What To Do
Authored by Dr. Michelle Murray on October 5, 2020
Dear Dr. Michelle:

I feel upset all of time. It has been like this for several years. Nothing seems to go right, and nothing makes me feel better. I don't know what to do.

Dear Abdullah:

I am sorry to hear that you are having a hard time. There could be a number of reasons you are feeling upset. If I was talking to you one-on-one, I would be asking you a lot of questions to better understand what specifically is happening in your life that could be causing you distress.

Based on the information you have shared I would recommend that you seek out a therapist and give yourself the gift of talking through your feelings with an expert that can be trusted to focus on your specific needs. A trained therapist will help you sort through life events and identify the contributing factors to your thoughts and feelings. They can also help you identify the steps you can take to best alleviate your feelings.

Below is a series of questions they may ask in order to understand your situation. If any of the below questions seem to fit your life, bring these areas up to the therapist; the more specific and insightful you are about your experiences, the quicker a therapist can help you develop a plan to feel better.

  • Are you undergoing a lot of stress? The top five events that lead to the greatest levels of stress include the death of a loved one, divorce, a significant move to a new area, a major illness/injury or a job change or job loss. These types of events can have a short impact on a person’s life, or they can affect a person for an extended period of time depending on the depth of the issue or one’s ability to recover from the impact. If you are experiencing one or more of these major life stressors, it could certainly lead to being upset. Being upset could actually be feelings of loss and grief – feelings which need to be dealt with directly in order alleviate the pain.
  • Are you having difficulties with any relationships in your life? Are you having disagreements with anybody? Relationships are very important to your well-being and when our close relationships are problematic it can certainly lead to prolonged distress. If being upset is related to your relationships a therapist can either help you work through them either just you, or with you and the other person together.
  • How are you feeling about your job? Do you find satisfaction in your work, are your colleagues or your supervisor expressing appreciation for the work that you do? When we work full-time, we actually spend more waking hours at work than we do at home, so it is important to experience some personal satisfaction. It is also important for people to feel appreciated for the work they do. If there are difficulties with colleagues or with your supervisor, if you feel unappreciated, or your work is not bringing you satisfaction, it would be natural for you to feel upset. If this is an area of concern for you, a therapist could be a life coach to help you figure out if you are ready for a professional change and what it will take to help you achieve new goals.

If you are not experiencing any of the above and you cannot identify a specific series of events or life circumstances that could be causing you to be upset, then you might be experiencing depression. Many people experience depression even when there is no identifiable reason for being upset. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain and does not have to be the result of a specific situation. Being upset, angry or irritable are symptoms of depression. A therapist can help you evaluate if what you are experiencing is depression, and once evaluated, they will be able to recommend effective alternatives for treatment.

Dr. Michelle K. Murray, CEO of Nexus Family Healing and licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, answers questions about family relations or mental health. Submit Your Question.

Dear Dr. Michelle blog posts are informational in nature.  The posts are not meant to take the place of consulting your physician, mental health professional, or other qualified health providers regarding your well-being or the well-being of others. Submitting a question does not establish a client/therapist relationship.

Submit Your Question on mental health and/or family relations to Dr. Michelle K. Murray.

Dr. Michelle Murray