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Dr. Michelle Advice
 
Dr. Michelle K. Murray, CEO of Nexus Family Healing and licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, answers questions about family relations or mental health. Submit Your Question.

 

Mother trying to support daughter

I’m Having a Hard Time Accepting That My Daughter Is a Lesbian

My daughter came out to me a few months ago and told me that she is a lesbian. She is 16. I love her. I want to be open-minded and always try to say the right things to support her and show her I am there for her. Privately though, I’m having a harder time accepting this than I thought I would. I want to just get over these feelings and move on. Help.
Diverse Friendship

I’m Feeling Alienated from My Black Friends

I am a white woman who has several black female friends. Since the George Floyd murder and police brutality towards black and brown people, I’m feeling more and more alienated from my black friends and fear the divide is only growing. I am not sure if this is because I am white, or because I’m not doing something I should be? Or, maybe it’s all in my head. Whatever it is, I am very sad about it. What I can do to keep my friendships strong? I miss our connections and they mean a lot to me.
A women contemplating

My Sister’s Lies Have Torn My Family Apart

I'm the oldest of three adult siblings. My youngest sister, “Sue” was diagnosed with chronic depression, bipolar disorder, and within the past year, narcissistic personality disorder. Since the narcissistic diagnosis, she's stopped seeing her psychiatrist and stopped taking her medication. She's always had issues with pathological lying but I recently found out she has been lying to my other sister and parents about me for years - hurtful, relationship-damaging lies my family believed and she continues to tell to this day. My heart is extremely heavy because I'm contemplating severing ties with her. I know her behavior is largely because of her mental illness but I feel I need to emotionally protect myself from her. I'm at a loss for what to do.
Couple does not understand each other

My Significant Other Doesn’t Believe Me When I Tell Her I Have A Mental Illness

My significant other doesn't believe me when I tell her I have a mental illness. It is really affecting our relationship as she doesn't respect me when I tell her I need extra time or space. How else can I show her what I am going through? 
Older sister struggling mentally

Our Daughter Struggles Mentally While Her Sister Is Doing Well

This past year, my oldest daughter has struggled mentally while our younger daughter has been thriving and adjusting well to change. I feel like we need to talk about mental health as a family so we can support each other, but I don’t know how to talk about it without making it feel like an attack on my oldest daughter?
Mother concerned about daughter

I Believe My Daughter Is Showing Signs of Bipolar Disorder

Based on what I am reading and learning about on the internet, I believe my 14-year-old daughter is showing signs of bipolar disorder. She has major mood swings. She will be really depressed one day and then hyper the next. How do I get her diagnosed so I can get her the help she needs?
Husband talking to wife about religious beliefs

My Significant Other and I Have Different Religious Beliefs

My husband and I have always been devout Catholics and we have been very engaged in all aspects of our religious practices. My husband just recently announced that he does not want to be Catholic anymore and has started to attend a local non-denominational church. At first, I thought it was just a phase, but he is serious and wants nothing to do with Catholicism. We have two children, ages 6 and 8, and he wants all of us to attend his new church. I have no intent on denouncing my Catholicism and I am just heartbroken at this divide in my marriage and in our family. I am not doing well with this. I don’t know how our marriage will make it through this.
Father talking to son

My Son Is Insatiable about Wanting Things

My 12-year-old son is insatiable about wanting things. He has so many interests, he wants everything, and he asks for items nonstop. No matter how many times we talk about this, he continues to want, want, want. This level of want doesn’t seem normal. I worry about his ability to control himself and how it will affect him when he is older. What can I do to reign this in?
A friend who is concerned about COVID while others are not.

Some of My Friends Don’t Believe in the Vaccine

Some of my friends don’t believe in the vaccine. As a result, I feel like I am in a limbo when it comes to moving on to a new normal. How do I maneuver this situation?
Husband and wife grieving a miscarriage

I'm Having a Difficult Time Grieving My Recent Miscarriage

I recently had a miscarriage and I am having a really hard time getting over it. People act like it’s not a big deal and don’t understand why I would be grieving. They ask me how many months I was pregnant and when they find out it was 12-weeks, they make it seem like I wasn’t that far along, and I should be fine. I’m starting to pull away from people because nobody understands. My husband is trying to be comforting, which is nice, but his family thinks I am just trying to seek attention. How do I help people understand the effect this is having on me?