Family & Relationships

My 13-year-old son (soon to be 14) is having a hard time maintaining friendships. As a result, he tells his dad and me that he is lonely and then moves to “online friends,” which are really people he doesn’t know. He says that when he goes online, he can be who he wants and can just tell them the good stuff. Any suggestions on how to cultivate friendships with kids he has actually met through baseball, school, etc.?

A fixed mindset often focuses solely on the end result. A growth mindset focuses on the journey and the effort put in, and not on the end result itself. Neither of these are wrong nor bad, as encouraging your child is always a great thing to do. However, by parenting from a growth mindset, you instill the idea of resilience and learning to achieve goals. So, how can you move your family from a fixed to a growth mindset? 

My mother-in-law is very critical, and she makes negative comments about things I say or do, and this really bothers me. My husband is aware and even though he agrees that she is inappropriate, he never sticks up for me or says anything to stop it. It makes family events very uncomfortable. What can I do to encourage my husband to come to my defense?

My husband and I are getting a divorce, but we are amicable. We have been having problems for quite some time and after a lot of couple’s therapy, he came out that he is gay.  As hard as this is, we both know that he needs to be true to who he is. We have two younger children ages 8 and 6 and we want to keep things as normal as possible for them so we have decided to keep the children in the house and he and I will rotate staying at the house every other week. We are going to share an apartment and rotate living there as well. Is this type of arrangement good for children? 

One of the rules with my children is no swearing. But my husband frequently curses which I feel sends mixed messages to our kids! How can I enforce the no swearing rule when it seems to be: do as I say, not as I do?

Have you ever set a goal for yourself or a new intention, and quickly found that it was unsustainable? This happens all too often when we set goals that are just too broad, and this practice is not one we want to instill in our children. Yes, being the best parent you can be is a great end goal, but you need smaller, actionable steps to get you there – and those steps are what should become your goals. 

My mom is very sick. She has cancer and other serious medical conditions. She is still able to care for herself and is highly capable, but she and my dad are horrible about sharing information. I never really know what is going on with her medical condition. My sister can visit them more in person and tends to get more information about the situation, but my sister and I don’t get along and are not currently speaking. My mom has a serious procedure coming up and I really want to know more, but there is just no way I can talk to my sister. I am so upset with my sister for not keeping me in the loop and driving a wedge between us. What should I do to deal with this situation if talking to my sister is not an option?

Luke Spiegelhoff, Clinical Director at Nexus-FACTS, joined KSTP's Minnesota Live to talk about the many benefits of cleaning for your mental health.

My ex and I have been divorced for several years now and it's amicable, but I'm frustrated -- she still turns to me for help with things around the house all the time. I want to do what's right for my kids and I like helping but I'm starting to feel taken advantage of. How do I say no without rocking the boat?