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Dr. Michelle Advice
 
Dr. Michelle K. Murray, CEO of Nexus Family Healing and licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, answers questions about family relations or mental health. Submit Your Question.

 

Grandmother with grandchild

I Feel It Is My Responsibility To Correct My Son, Not My Mother's

My mother tends to correct my son. It is not that I disagree with her, in fact, I usually don’t, but I am standing right there. I feel like it is my role to do the correcting, not hers. How do I tell her to back off or do I just roll with it since I agree?
Worried Women

My Best Friend and Ex-Partner Recently Died by Suicide

My best friend and ex-partner recently died by suicide. He had reached out to me a month before, but I was annoyed and busy and barely responded. He said he missed me, and I didn't say it back even though I missed him, too. I feel I contributed to his pain and loneliness. How do I not feel so terrible and like I am to blame for his decision to take his life?
Supporting Family Hands

One of Our Four Children Recently Went to a Treatment Facility

We are looking for help to address the trauma our family has gone through. We have four special needs kids and one recently went to a treatment facility. While she is in a place to heal, we want to find help for the rest of the family. In-home help would be best for our kids as they are all autistic and fetal alcohol syndrome, plus learning disabilities. We live in Missouri. Please help.
Man looking out window

As Things Return to Normal, I Find Myself Feeling Guarded and Hesitant

Things are returning to more of a normal state but I still find myself feeling on guard or hesitant to stand too close, hug a friend, and I noticed I’m not always on the same page on these feelings as my family and friends. How do I start feeling more comfortable?
Mother trying to support daughter

I’m Having a Hard Time Accepting That My Daughter Is a Lesbian

My daughter came out to me a few months ago and told me that she is a lesbian. She is 16. I love her. I want to be open-minded and always try to say the right things to support her and show her I am there for her. Privately though, I’m having a harder time accepting this than I thought I would. I want to just get over these feelings and move on. Help.
Diverse Friendship

I’m Feeling Alienated from My Black Friends

I am a white woman who has several black female friends. Since the George Floyd murder and police brutality towards black and brown people, I’m feeling more and more alienated from my black friends and fear the divide is only growing. I am not sure if this is because I am white, or because I’m not doing something I should be? Or, maybe it’s all in my head. Whatever it is, I am very sad about it. What I can do to keep my friendships strong? I miss our connections and they mean a lot to me.
A women contemplating

My Sister’s Lies Have Torn My Family Apart

I'm the oldest of three adult siblings. My youngest sister, “Sue” was diagnosed with chronic depression, bipolar disorder, and within the past year, narcissistic personality disorder. Since the narcissistic diagnosis, she's stopped seeing her psychiatrist and stopped taking her medication. She's always had issues with pathological lying but I recently found out she has been lying to my other sister and parents about me for years - hurtful, relationship-damaging lies my family believed and she continues to tell to this day. My heart is extremely heavy because I'm contemplating severing ties with her. I know her behavior is largely because of her mental illness but I feel I need to emotionally protect myself from her. I'm at a loss for what to do.
Couple does not understand each other

My Significant Other Doesn’t Believe Me When I Tell Her I Have A Mental Illness

My significant other doesn't believe me when I tell her I have a mental illness. It is really affecting our relationship as she doesn't respect me when I tell her I need extra time or space. How else can I show her what I am going through? 
Older sister struggling mentally

Our Daughter Struggles Mentally While Her Sister Is Doing Well

This past year, my oldest daughter has struggled mentally while our younger daughter has been thriving and adjusting well to change. I feel like we need to talk about mental health as a family so we can support each other, but I don’t know how to talk about it without making it feel like an attack on my oldest daughter?
Mother concerned about daughter

I Believe My Daughter Is Showing Signs of Bipolar Disorder

Based on what I am reading and learning about on the internet, I believe my 14-year-old daughter is showing signs of bipolar disorder. She has major mood swings. She will be really depressed one day and then hyper the next. How do I get her diagnosed so I can get her the help she needs?